WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY?
by Rick
Summary: BUFFY HAD TO JUMP INTO THE VORTEX TO SAVE DAWN AND THE WORLD. THE HELLMOUTH REMAINED OPEN...AND IS SHE GONE FOREVER?
1. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 1\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY?  
  
AUTHOR: Rick  
  
DISCLAIMER: They all belong to Joss Whedon but, if he doesn't get Xander and Buffy together soon we need to plan a friendly take over.  
  
SUMMARY\ PLOT: Buffy is gone. She gave her life for the planet. But, the Hell mouth is still wide open. Someone still has to carry on with the day- to-day slaying. Xander is reluctantly left with the job. Is Buffy coming back?  
  
PART SUBMITTED: 1\? My Prayer Is Your Ashes Blowing In The Wind, Pal!  
  
The three of them stood there totally oblivious of their surroundings. After all, the slayer was dead, the people of Sunnydale are still in denial and everyone said that feeding should be a pleasant nighttime activity again. They talked of searching out and overcoming their prey. Macho tales of terrifying young women and sucking their veins as the blood rushed from their body. They were enjoying themselves immensely. They didn't notice a single person getting closer, a person neither terrified by their presence nor concerned with their number. He approached them with confidence and disgust.  
  
"Well, what the hell do you know, three stupid ass vampires!"  
  
They turn toward the figure. One speaks for the others.  
  
"Say your prayers, boy!"  
  
Before any of the three can react the boy grabs one from behind staking it furiously in the back.  
  
"My prayer is..."  
  
He pushes the staked one into the others. As the ashes burst in their face he kicks one in the groin.  
  
"My prayer is that all the vamps..."  
  
As he is staking the second one the last vampire comes down hard on his shoulder with his fist.  
  
He shakes it off while pushing the third to the ground. He puts his foot on its throat and places the stake to its heart.  
  
"My prayer is that all the vampires are as stupid as you three. Go to all the dark places in this hell hole and tell them a new slayer is on the prowl and he is after them!"  
  
He stares at the petrified vamp for a minute then thrusts the stake to its heart.  
  
"Ah, never mind I'll tell them myself!"  
  
With that Xander heads home wincing at his blood soaked shoulder. All in a night's work  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander strains as he slams the post with his staff. He has a very painful welt on his right shoulder, courtesy of last night's encounter with last night's creatures of the night. Buffy is gone, gave herself for the world. Xander has to keep repeating this last thought to himself over and over again. He cried for two weeks after she dove into the evil abyss to close it. Nothing has ever affected him as much. No one could reach him, not even Anya. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. He took to hunting at night. No more laughs, no more messing around. He was going to make the creatures of the night suffer for the loss of the woman who had been his life for five years. He gradually left the others back into his life but he was not the same. Anya still loved him, dearly. He has tried to find comfort in that. Dawn has been clinging to him. Willow and Tara tried to take over for Buffy but neither could do it, not every night. Xander didn't want to do it either, not officially anyway but Giles talked him into it. Nobody could understand why another slayer was not called. The council told Giles some gibberish about there only being one slayer and Faith was still alive. He guessed that the whole business of multiple slayers proved to be most embarrassing to them. So, despite the obvious consequences, none would be called while Faith still breathed. They did authorize Giles to use Xander when the tweed man insisted somebody must fill the void in Sunnydale. They gave him an allowance so that Xander could quit his carpentry job. Being only human he trained twice as hard as a normal slayer. None of it sat too well with him but he did enjoy making the predators of the night pay for his pain. He loved it when they looked at him like he was lunch then cowered in fear as they realized he was actually hunting them. Something obviously died inside him when Buffy did her deed. The boy knows Buffy had to do what she did. But, a part of him was very angry with her. She left him, again. And, maybe this time for good. Left him with the daily chores of her calling, left him Dawn who was thoroughly devastated. Even when Xander was not talking to anyone he still did not ignore Dawn. He tried to put her life back together piece by piece. She stayed with Giles but Xander was her rock. Anya was very jealous because Dawn was obviously in love with him but Xander never wavered as her protector. He didn't lead her on romantically but never denied her attention.  
  
With a burst of adrenaline Xander moved his staff with blinding speed, rocking and denting the training post in furious motion. Giles had begun to watch him train. He is duly impressed. Xander stops when he sees him.  
  
"I'm glad to see you are so enthusiastic. Don't stop on my account."  
  
"Just getting out my frustrations, Giles. Where's Dawn?"  
  
"She is finishing her homework. Xander, I want to thank you for handling her problem the other night."  
  
"It was nothing, just a teenage thing."  
  
Giles watches, as Xander gets ready to resume his training. He has wanted to ask him something.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Do you miss her...Buffy, I mean?"  
  
"Every time one of the big nasties hits me."  
  
That is not what Giles meant so he continues to look at the boy to see if he has anything else to say. Xander sighs.  
  
"Giles, I can't help it, sometimes I hate her for leaving me...us."  
  
"Xander you know why she made the decision to sacrifice herself."  
  
"I don't know Giles, sometimes I think there could have been another way. She could have talked it over more with us. Somewhere along the line she got this idea of her against the world. Like we haven't been working with her for the past five years."  
  
"Look, Xander, I know you have been left with the slaying...and with Dawn but..."  
  
Xander interrupts him. "Its water under the bridge, g-man. I want to finish this, Anya is coming over in an hour or so."  
  
Xander goes back to training. Giles has no choice but to forget it for now. He has noticed the change in Xander, as has everyone else. The boy is fast getting a very hard edge to himself. An edge that is pushing everyone away from him. And he'll never talk about Buffy. Giles can see that Xander obviously loves her. He can also see that he is very angry with her for leaving him...again as he says.  
  
After about an hour Anya comes in to see him. He greets her warmly.  
  
"Hi, honey, how are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, Xander, but how is your wound?"  
  
She touches it and Xander winces. "Xander, you were moaning last night and...you said her name again."  
  
"Honey, I'm sorry. I told you I can't help it She should not have done what she did."  
  
"Xander, I love you but, even I can see that is was either her or Dawn. I mean do you love her that much, Xander?"  
  
"Stop it Anya, would you please?"  
  
Anya softens up. "Okay, sweetie, all I wanted to know is how is your wound?"  
  
"It will be fine, Anya. What did you do today?"  
  
"Well, I went to the doctors."  
  
"And?"  
  
"Well I got an answer to one of my questions?"  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"Well, it appears that ex-vengeance daemons can reproduce."  
  
"Oh, cool.....ah...what?"  
  
"I'm pregnant, Xander!"  
  
"Wh...what, you're...pregnant, as in having a child?"  
  
Anya goes to him very lovingly.  
  
"Your child, Xander...our child."  
  
"Oh, wow...wow...honey, I don't know what t say."  
  
"Just tell me you love me Xander."  
  
As they are embracing. "Yes, Anya, I do."  
  
But, in the midst of their celebration Xander gets a cold chill down his spine. The thought of raising a child in the midst of this evil scared him more than anything else. But he doesn't share his apprehension with Anya. He just looks deep into her eyes.  
  
"Anya, would you promise me you will stay out of all danger and never take any chances. And, that you'll never go anywhere at night without me?"  
  
Anya notices the seriousness in his eyes. "Wow, yes Xander, I promise."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The news of Anya being pregnant has a sobering effect on every member of the gang. Tara notices that Willow is very quiet.  
  
"Are you okay, honey?"  
  
"Yea..It's just..."  
  
"What...you can tell me?"  
  
"Tara, I always thought...you know...Xander..."  
  
"That you would have Xander's children?"  
  
Willow looks at her lover to see if she is sad.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tara."  
  
"It's okay, Willow, really. I mean you loved him your whole life."  
  
And before Willow can say anything else. "And, you still do."  
  
Willow just looks at her fellow witch as she continues.  
  
"And, it's killing you to see him get all hard and tough the way he is getting."  
  
"I know he has to do it, Tara. That he wouldn't survive without doing it but, ..."  
  
"But, you don't want to lose your warm and fuzzy friend."  
  
Willow stares at her partner for a minute before embracing her. "Thank you, Tara. Thank you for understanding."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The monster hid in the shadows, waiting for his prey to come to him. As she got closer his mouth began to water with sickening anticipation. He could smell her blood as she approached. He flew from the bushes to surprise her. She started to scream but froze when the night creature showed his true colors. His low guttural growl terrorized her as he moved to the kill. She barely caught the sudden jerk of his body forward and the full opening of his eyes. When his body burst to ashes in front of her she caught the cold expression of her savior. He was almost as scary as the monster. Without changing his expression he talks to her.  
  
"Don't ever go outside alone at night again! Do you understand?"  
  
"Who...who are you?"  
  
He grabs her by the arms. "Do you understand?"  
  
The girl reluctantly nods. "Now, go home! I'll make sure no one else is following you."  
  
With this he melts back to the shadows to look for more evil. The girl hurries her way home. She got the message. She swears to herself she will never set foot outside again after dark. The stranger won his point.  
  
Xander makes one last visit to the graveyard before heading back to Giles's place for report. He is very angry at the stupidity of the residents of this town. They make it easy for the monsters to find quick feed. When will they ever get the message?  
  
Willow s waiting for him at Giles.Xander has said very few words to the witch since Buffy died.  
  
"Xander, can I talk to you?"  
  
"It was a long night, Will."  
  
"Why are you avoiding me?"  
  
"Will, please, I want to report and then get some sleep."?  
  
"Do you still miss her, Xander?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on, Xander, you know you do."  
  
"She made her choice, Willow, and now..."  
  
He doesn't finish. "And now what, Xander? She saved the world."  
  
"Yea, no shit, did she? And now we're left to do her work."  
  
"You mean you're left. You know, you can fool everyone else but not me, Xander. You loved her. You still do love her. You can't believe she left you. And you're mad at yourself too. You never told her. You let her go from one mistake to the next without telling her. You even helped her try to keep Riley. And now it's driving you nuts!"  
  
"Are you finished, Willow?"  
  
"No I'm not, Xander, I'm not going to let you stay all hard and distant."  
  
"Just be quiet, Willow, you said enough. Tell Giles nothing out of the ordinary happened. I'm going to bed."  
  
Willow just shakes her head as her once best friend fades into the night.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 2\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY? 2\?  
  
AUTHOR: Rick  
  
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon Owns Them All  
  
SUMMARY: Xander is left With The Slaying. It's gonna be B/X..I wouldn't waste your time with anything else.smile  
  
DEDICATION: To A Very Special Friend Who I Thought I Lost But Now Have Re- found. Her Very Presence Lights Up My Night. I Will Withhold Her Name To Protect Our Secret Marriage. And, Wow, Can She Dance..warm smile.  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 2: Yea, I'm Alive!  
  
Buffy Anne Summers remembers many images as she plunged to the unknown. But only one burned deep within her. She could see her friends below, staring up in her direction. There was Giles, her watcher, looking at her with a mixture of sadness and confusion. When you're the slayer you are suppose to survive as long as is possible. She also saw Willow, with a look of horror on her face. She saw the redhead clutch at her lover, Tara, unable to process what was actually happening. She could imagine it would take her best friend many days to even process what Buffy had done. Tara was expressionless. She saw Spike shaking his head in disbelief as she plunged toward the evil vortex. She just could not answer his love. Then she saw Anya looking at her and then looking at Xander. The ex daemon was in shock as she gazed upon her lover and fiancé. Whatever she saw in his eyes totally freaked her out. Buffy also was moved by his expression. Xander looked at her with a mixture of shock, betrayal and.love. His eyes were so expressive. This man who had been with her since the beginning, who had saved her life many times, who had risked every thing for her day after day. His look burned its way into her soul. She had never told him how much she appreciated him, never told him how she could not have done it without him, never just touched him as a sign of love. Now, a sense of regret filled her. Why had she never told him what he meant to her? Was she afraid that he actually meant too much? Could it be she was afraid to open up to him because she was afraid she would fall apart in his arms.be too weak.too vulnerable. Well now it was too late to find out.  
  
The slayer never hit the ground. She never hit anything. Her free fall was interrupted by a jet stream of air carrying her to a different reality. She drifted inside a cloud of wind for what seemed like days. Finally she was joined by a familiar figure, a certain balance daemon who was very annoyed. But Buffy was not in a very humble mood as she addressed him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here, Whisler? And, while you're at it.where is here?"  
  
"We all know why I'm here. What they want to know is what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"It should be obvious, another me saving the world scenario. And, I'm getting sick of it."  
  
"Well, it wasn't supposed to be you."  
  
"Then it's a surprise. Look, say what you want to say and then let me get to where I'm going!"  
  
"You're going back."  
  
"What?"  
  
"They don't want you yet."  
  
Buffy didn't know what to say. She just stared at him.  
  
"And you really didn't do as much good as you think you did!"  
  
"You know Whistler, you never did make much sense. I don't think I've ever understood a word you've said. And this one sets a record."  
  
"You didn't save her, slayer. She's not saved. They'll be back for her."  
  
This news rocks Buffy. All the pain, all the worry, all the angst.for nothing?  
  
The Daemon keeps it going.  
  
"You didn't solve it. You left it for them to solve. You and your goddamned death wish!"  
  
Buffy has had enough for now. She walks to whistler.  
  
"Bullshit, Whistler, I've had enough. You tell those powers to be to find another savior."  
  
He just shakes his head at her. He warms up a bit but still doesn't pull any punches.  
  
"Slayer, you are good, you are intelligent but some things just pass you by. You don't have to be like this you know. There has always been enough for you, always been exactly what you needed to make your life bearable. It has been there from the very beginning, staring you in the face."  
  
For some reason Buffy doesn't have a come back for this. But, even if it is true it's too late now. She is not going back to the Hellmouth. Whistler can sense this.  
  
"Look, Buffy, they can't force you to do the right thing but they're not going to allow you to stay here. You can go where you please down there but, you are being sent back."  
  
The next thing Buffy knows she is unceremoniously dumped onto a highway. She has to roll to the side to get out of the way of a huge sixteen wheeler. When she gets up she finds herself in front of a sign which points to Sunnydale. She crosses the road and proceeds to stick her thumb out in the opposite direction. After a few minutes a car stops. She hops in and disappears down the highway toward Los Angeles. 


	3. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 3\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY? 3\?  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: THEY ALL BELONG TO JOSS WHEDON  
  
SUMMARY: XANDER IS LEFT WITH THE SLAYING  
  
  
  
CHAPTER: 3-How About A Little Angerlus, Xander?  
  
Anya was somewhat happy as a human. She had a very wonderful man to love her and he always looked out after her. And now she was to be a mother. Ever since she got pregnant she has noticed Xander is like, super sensitive to everything she does. She likes that. Even though the daemon knows he has that everlasting love for the slayer she actually feels well loved by Xander. He has given her as much as he possibly can give her. She has reached a point of being happy, something she never even thought about as a daemon. And she considers the life within her sacred, a product of her and Xander's love.  
  
Every Tuesday Anya and Xander attend birthing classes together. Xander really gets into it.  
  
"Okay, honey, now you know the breathing thing, right?"  
  
"Yes, Xander, I'm not a child. We go over it ten times a week."  
  
"I know...I'm sorry. I just don't want you to be in a lot of pain."  
  
Anya kisses him very sweetly.  
  
"It's okay, Xander, I know you love me and our baby. Everything will be fine."  
  
As Xander and Anya are leaving the clinic two pairs of eyes follow their path. By the time they get to the parking lot five rather large night creatures are pursuing them. Xander senses it.  
  
"Holy shit, Anya, something is very wrong here!"  
  
Xander sees the Vamps in pursuit.  
  
"Anya, get in the car and go to Giles!"  
  
"Xander, you come too."  
  
"Anya, please, just do it!"  
  
The night thugs start to attack Xander in earnest. Anya starts to go back to help but then thinks of their unborn child. She jumps into the car. But before she can get away another set of Vamps jump the car. One puts his fist through the front window, reaching for Anya.  
  
In the meantime Xander is furiously fighting off those who jumped him. He sees Anya being pulled from the car but he cannot get to her fast enough. He is beaten to the ground. The Vampire who has Anya buries his fangs in her neck When he is finished he discards her onto the roof of the car. Xander is frantic. He has staked three of the five vamps on him but still has to deal with two more. A black car speeds up beside Xander's car. The Vamp who drained Anya tosses her into the back seat. For the first time he turns toward Xander. When he does Xander's heart sinks as he gets a glimpse of his identity.  
  
"Yep, believe it or not, Xander boy, I'm back. And since the slayer isn't around to torture, guess who I picked to terrorize?"  
  
The two remaining Vamps intercept Xander's dive toward the car. By the time the boy can dispatch them the car is long gone. All he can do is cry out into the night. He drops down to his knees. After a few minutes another car comes racing into the parking lot. Giles, Willow and Tara get out and rush toward Xander. Cordelia and Wesley are also there. When they see Xander's condition they begin to fear he may already know what they are about to tell him. Giles runs to him. The boy just stares.  
  
"Xander, what happened?"  
  
Willow cries out. "Xander, where is Anya?"  
  
"Will...he's back...Angelus...he...he drained Anya."  
  
Cordelia can't help it. She embraces Xander.  
  
"Oh, Xander, I'm so sorry. I called right away. We came right away"  
  
"He did it right in front of me. Then he...he threw her body into the car."  
  
Xander allows Cordelia to comfort him. He cries on her shoulder. Giles talks to him.  
  
"Xander, did they change her?"  
  
The boy doesn't answer. After about 5 minutes of crying he gets very still in Cordelia's arms. He then rises. He stares at Giles.  
  
"From this moment forward I will not rest till that son-of-a-bitch is dust in the wind!"  
  
The watcher in Giles forces him to warn Xander.  
  
"Xander, I don't think at this point that would be advisable."  
  
But Xander has the answer. "I know I'm not good enough right now, Giles but, I'll get good enough. Count on it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Buffy wakes from a very restless sleep riding shotgun on a big semi. She feels a sharp, shooting pain in her chest. A pain more intense than anything she has ever felt. The driver addresses her.  
  
"Miss, are you okay?"  
  
"Yes...ah, are we...are we in LA yet?"  
  
"Yes, we're downtown."  
  
Buffy can barely talk. "I...I need to get off...here."  
  
"Okay, I'll pull over."  
  
Buffy thanks the man She has no idea what this pain is all about but she figures it has something to do with the Hell mouth. Before the pain she was having her now almost constant dream, the one of Xander's face as she plunged to what she thought was her death. She knows this pain has something to do with him too. She cannot get Xander out of her mind. She has to go see Angel to see what has happened.  
  
When she gets to the building of Angel investigations she can already pick up nasty vibes. Something very evil has taken place here. The office and adjacent rooms are all trashed, wrecked. The slayer senses a presence in one of the back rooms. She approaches it cautiously. There is someone sitting on a chair facing the window. Right before she gets to the figure he spins in her direction. Buffy recognizes him immediately.  
  
"I should have known it would be you."  
  
"Come running for your security blanket, slayer?"  
  
"You're never funny, Whistler. But now you're even less so."  
  
"You never learn do you?"  
  
Buffy gets a very bad feeling. "Did something happen to Angel?"  
  
The Daemon is disgusted. "When exactly did you start getting everything wrong?"  
  
Buffy's heart sinks; a feeling of dread comes over her. Those dreams of Xander and now the pain. She now knows who this is about.  
  
"It's Xander isn't it? I have to get back to him."  
  
"You're too late to do any good slayer."  
  
Buffy is near frantic now. She grabs the balance daemon by the shirt.  
  
"What happened to Xander, Whistler?"  
  
Buffy looks around Angel investigations. "And what happened here?"  
  
"Your ex is not feeling quite like himself anymore. Or shall we say he is back to being himself."  
  
"Oh my God, Whistler, you mean Angelus is back?"  
  
"And when he didn't find you..."  
  
She interrupts him. "He went for Xander, why would he go for Xander?"  
  
"Who do you think took over for you, slayer?"  
  
Buffy starts to tear up. She slides down into a chair. She should have went right back. She should have known he would try to take up the slack, try to keep her legacy going. But, he can't be gone.  
  
"Whistler, is he...I mean is he..."  
  
Whistler gets up going past her. He turns toward her before he walks out of the room.  
  
"He might as well be, Buffy."  
  
"You mean he's still alive?"  
  
"Find out for yourself, Slayer." The daemon leaves. Buffy begins to sob. For the past two years she has been completely depressed and without a clue. She has shut out everyone from her life and her heart, especially Xander. He tried to tell her many times. She would find him looking at her with a sad expression on his face when he thought she wouldn't notice. She was just too stubborn to acknowledge it. But, now she can't get him out of her mind. A very heavy feeling comes over her. She thinks of something Whistler had told her about there always being enough to sustain her right in front of her face the whole time. He was talking about him, Xander. Of course he was. But... Xander is with Anya. She has to get back there to him, to her destiny. She picks up a still working telephone. She dials a familiar number.  
  
"Hello"  
  
"Ah...hello Willow."  
  
The Witch is dumbfounded. "Bu...Buffy?" 


	4. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 4\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEACE ME, BUFFY? 4\?  
  
AUTHOR: Rick  
  
DISCLAIMER: They all belong to Joss Whedon  
  
SUMMARY: Xander is left to slay after Buffy saves the world. But they send her back Xander was angry that she left him and now has more reason to hate her. The slayer now knows she has always loved Xander but is it too late?  
  
CHAPTER-4: Ah, Buffy...Bad Timing!  
  
Xander smashes his fist into the bag. Cordelia, Giles, Tara and Wesley look in dismay. The boy is emotionless, relentless and cold. It's as if he is training for a championship fight, totally focused on the event. Angelus is going down and it is Xander who is going to take him down, no angst, no regret, and no bullshit! Cordelia addresses Giles.  
  
"Giles, where's my Xander, the funny man who could lift my spirits at a moment's notice. I know about Anya and the baby but he isn't even the same person."  
  
"Cordelia, he has been left with the slaying duties. I'm afraid he hasn't been much of a funny man lately."  
  
"Well, I'm not going to just let him get like this!"  
  
The brunette approaches him. "Xander, honey, I know you are in grief for Anya. I will be there for you but this is awful Xander."  
  
The boy looks at her. "What is awful, Cordelia?"  
  
"Xander, you can cry, lay in bed depressed, let me comfort you but...but this is like not even you."  
  
"Somebody had to take up her slack, Cordelia. And, guess who was left with it? And, just for some added attraction, there was a little matter she forgot to take care of first time around, good old Angelus!"  
  
"I knew this had something to do with her. You're still obsessed with her, aren't you?"  
  
"What the hell are you talking about, Cordelia?"  
  
"I'm talking about you, Xander. Do you want to know why I really left, Xander? It was only partly about Willow. But, I knew your heart would never leave her. I'll bet you Anya knew it too."  
  
Xander goes toe to toe with Cordelia. "Ah, you comforted me...thank you, now I think it's time for you to go back to LA. Of course unless you're now in love with the bloodsucker too? Wouldn't that be fun!"?  
  
Cordelia gets very emotional. She never stopped loving Xander.  
  
"You know, Xander, I still loved you. I changed my life for you, gave up my friends for you but, all you could see was her! This isn't even about Anya is it Xander? Why did the slayer leave you? Why did Buffy Summers leave you? That's all that matters isn't it?"  
  
Xander just stares for a moment as Cordelia disappears in tears. But he soon returns to the punching bag.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When Willow recovers her breathe enough she gasps into the phone.  
  
"Buf...Buffy, how can this be you?"  
  
"Willow, that is a long story. But I need to know right away...how is Xander?"  
  
"Oh, Buffy...you know Angelus is back."  
  
"I know Willow but did he go after Xander?"  
  
"Buffy, he drained Anya and...and she was...pregnant."  
  
Now Buffy realizes why she has the enormous pain within her.  
  
"Oh my God, Willow. Is he...okay?"  
  
"Buffy, he won't cry or grieve or do anything but train. He's going after him, Buffy."  
  
"Willow, I'm coming back home."  
  
"Buffy...Xander, he...he is very angry at you."  
  
"Why, Willow?"  
  
"For leaving...him. And now..."  
  
Buffy can't continue the call. She drops the phone. She knows what Willow was going to say; Xander blames her for Anya's death. She has to get back there now before he gets himself killed by Angelus.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Willow calls everyone besides Xander to another room. Giles can't believe it.  
  
"Willow, are you absolutely sure it wasn't..."  
  
"Giles, it's her and she's coming back. She knows about Anya and that Xander...blames her."  
  
Tara looks at Willow. "Who's going to tell him?"  
  
Everyone's eyes fall to the red headed Witch. "Oh, guys, please?"  
  
Giles pleads with her. "Willow, you might be the only one he will take it from."  
  
Willow looks at Cordelia. She wants no part of it.  
  
"I can't talk to Xander again, not when he's like this. I just can't!"  
  
Willow sighs. The redhead knows what Cordelia said to him was the truth. He has never stopped loving Buffy. She should know. But, he would never admit it, especially now. But, Willow wonders why the slayer was only concerned about Xander. She didn't even ask about anyone else. Willow tentatively approaches Xander. The boy pays no attention to her.  
  
"Xander, can I talk to you?"  
  
"What do you want, Will?"  
  
"Can you at least stop and pay attention, Xander?"  
  
The boy closes his eyes and sighs. He looks at his friend.  
  
"What do you want Willow?"  
  
"Xander...do you...miss Buffy?"  
  
Xander goes back to punching the bag. "Wrong timing, Will."  
  
Willow goes up to him and grabs his arm to stop him.  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"She left us with this mess!"  
  
"She saved the world, Xander."  
  
"Oh, she did? Well, it doesn't look saved to me. And, gees, she sort of missed one bad guy. Oh, that's right. She's in love with him, just couldn't stake the blood-sucking bastard. Oh well, we can forgive her that can't we?"  
  
"Xander, you are upset because you never stopped loving her."  
  
"Love her! I'd like to..."  
  
Xander can't help it. He starts to cry. Willow goes to him.  
  
"Xander, you have a right to be upset but..."  
  
The boy dries his tears and goes back to the bag.  
  
"Willow, let me alone."  
  
Willow starts to cry too. "I can't, Xander. Xander...Buffy is back"  
  
Xander freezes for a moment but then he goes back to training.  
  
"Did you hear me, Xander?"  
  
"Get out of here, Willow."  
  
The Witch figures she confronted him enough for one day and she did tell him about Buffy's return. She leaves very sad. 


	5. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 5\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY? 5\?  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: JOSS WHEDON OWNES THEM ALL.  
  
SUMMARY: XANDER TOOK OVER SLAYING DUTIES. ANGELUS IS BACK, DRAINED A PREGNANT ANYA. BUFFY IS BACK, XANDER DOESN'T CARE, OR DOES HE?  
  
CHAPTER: 5- HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO STAY THIS TIME, SLAYER?  
  
Being single minded can really simplify things. Everything else takes a back seat to your ultimate concern. Xander's mind has never been clearer. He is going to train and hunt, train until he gets razor sharp and hunt until he finds Angelus. That is it in a nutshell. Nothing else matters.  
  
One thing that Xander doesn't mind about being left with the slaying is his increased mental and physical discipline. He is no longer the man who can be dismissed with a sleight of hand. He is efficient and deadly for things of the night. He may not be on the level of an Angelus but he damned sure was willing to give it a shot. He's got the emotional edge since the bastard has to know that he is being hunted. Xander has learned to turn his anger into a focused ferocity. It gives him a little bit of an edge in the battles.  
  
Xander comes upon three Vampires. He walks into their midst quickly staking one. He heaves a vial of holy water into the face of another. It grabs its face and shrieks into the night as Xander stakes the third.  
  
"Quit screaming, you're the lucky one, you get to live for another few minutes. Now, where's Angelus?"  
  
With a roar the vamp tries to take a swing at Xander. The boy ducks him and then flattens him to the ground. He straddles him pinning a cross to its head. The monster screams as its flesh sizzles with the imprint of the crucifix.  
  
"Where the hell is Angelus, freak?"  
  
"I don't know, believe me!"  
  
Xander violently rams the stake to its heart.  
  
"I do believe you."  
  
Xander senses someone has been watching him while he dealt with these Vamps. When he turns around he sees a vision of someone he never thought he would see again. It is Buffy. She has her mouth open.  
  
"What do you want, Buffy?"  
  
"Xander...what...what was that?"  
  
"Just taking care of business, Slayer. Remember, that?"  
  
"Look, Xander, I know why you're upset. I..."  
  
He cuts her off. "What do you want, Buffy?"  
  
"I'm back, Xander, they sent me back."  
  
"Well, tell them it's too little too late. I could have used you a few days ago."  
  
"I know, Xander, I'm so..."  
  
"Can it Buffy! We have a worst problem. Your boyfriend is on the rampage and I'm going to stop him."  
  
"Xander, what have you become?"  
  
"I've become what I've had to become. Now if you don't mind I need to get some sleep."  
  
He goes to pass her but she grabs his arm.  
  
"Xander, it's me. I've come back...to you."  
  
Xander sighs. "Buffy, go to Giles or, to Willow. They'll be glad to see you."  
  
"Oh, I get it now. I don't mean anything to you right, Xander?"  
  
Xander is very disgusted. "Will you just go, Buffy!"  
  
"Xander, don't tell me you don't have feelings for me. I saw the way you looked at me when I was falling into the vortex. And, Xander.I've been.I mean."  
  
Xander goes to her, grabbing her by the shoulders.  
  
"Slayer, I don't know what you're going to say and I don't really give a damn. You have a basic problem. I am going to kill your forever love. I don't want you to stand in the way!"  
  
Buffy has never seen Xander with a harder look on his face. It is almost scary. She saw what he did to those vamps, how cold and vicious he was. This is not her Xander. This is a man forced to face too much evil on his own. He never left her and she is not going to leave him!  
  
"Xander, I know what you're feeling now but, you can't go after him!"  
  
This was the wrong thing to say to Xander.  
  
"Look, Buffy, I took your shit before concerning him because I lov.I took it even though it turned my stomach but that is over. He killed Anya.and.and my child. He is going to die and I'm not going to be the one who watches it done, I'm going to be the one who does it!"  
  
At this moment Buffy can see the pain of the ages in Xander's eyes. Pain that life has caused him and pain that she has caused him. The years of ignoring him and taking him for granted and dissing him. She wishes she could have it back. And the worst pain of all, Angelus. She thought that was all over. She can't help the tears falling down her cheeks.  
  
"Xander.please? Please allow me to try and comfort you.to make you understand how sorry I am."  
  
Xander has never seen Buffy like this. It's almost as if she.He shakes this thought out of his head. He can't allow her to break him down.  
  
"Buffy, if you want to help me then just stay out of my way!"  
  
He pushes past her and goes back to his home. Buffy is left crying to herself. She goes to see Willow.  
  
"Willow, he's hard and cold. He.he even looked me in the eye and told me to let him alone."  
  
"Buffy, I know you were saving the world and so does he but, he took it very hard. But, Buffy.why.why are you all of a sudden? I mean its like all you're concerned about is Xander."  
  
"Willow, I can't explain it. I saw the way Xander looked at me when I was closing the vortex. And then what Whistler said."  
  
"You saw Whistler?"  
  
"Yes, and he told me I have everything I need to make my life bearable right in front of me."  
  
"And he meant our Xander?"  
  
"Yes, Willow. And as soon as he said it everything started to become clear to me. Xander is always there, he always knows what I need and what is bothering me. He never leaves me."  
  
"Like all the other men in your life?"  
  
"I never saw it before Willow."  
  
"But, Buffy, Xander is different now."  
  
"I know, Will. But, I'm not going to give up on him."  
  
"Buffy, are you in love with him?"  
  
"Willow, I can honestly say he is as deep within me as anyone else has ever been. He was always there; all I had to do was notice him. Willow, it's like more than love, or deeper than love. But, we've never.even kissed so ."  
  
Buffy doesn't finish but Willow knows what she's thinking. The chance of Xander admitting any feeling for Buffy right now is very slim. The two women just look at one another.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. 


	6. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 6\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY 6\?  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: THEY ALL BELONG TO JOSH WHEDON  
  
SUMMARY: Xander wants to kill Angelus, bad. And even though Buffy may be in love with our hero now how does she feel about that?  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Just for a little extra angst to the whole thing I thought I would throw in a little Xander\ Faith.  
  
CHAPTER: 6- LET'S SHAKE THE WHOLE THING UP A LITTLE.  
  
Xander and Buffy avoid each other. The slayer has gone back to training and Giles splits their patrols up. Buffy is getting as silent and hard as Xander. Something is really bothering the rest of the team now, however. There is no way anybody is going to stop Xander from hunting Angelus. But, how does Buffy feel about this? Is she going to try to stop him? Willow approaches her as she is kicking at a mannequin.  
  
"Buffy, I have to ask you something."  
  
"What, Will?"  
  
"You do know what Xander is doing right?"  
  
"You mean hunting for Angelus?"  
  
The witch nods. Buffy sighs. Willow continues.  
  
"How do you feel about that?"  
  
"Willow.ah."  
  
"I know you're confused, Buffy. And that you're in love with Xander now too. But."  
  
"I never said I was in love with Xander, Willow."  
  
"Buffy, please?"  
  
The slayer starts to well up. "Willow, what am I going to do? He can't even stand to look at me. He won't even let me get near him."  
  
"I know but, Buffy, right now we have to know."  
  
She interrupts her. "You have to know if I'm going to try to stop Xander from killing Angelus?"  
  
"Yes, Buffy."  
  
Buffy starts to openly cry. Willow comforts her. She sniffs back the tears so she can talk.  
  
"That's funny Will. You know.I'm not even thinking about.Angel.or how I feel about him. I'm thinking about Xander, about losing him. And if I try to stop him he'll think it's because I still love Angel."  
  
"Do you Buffy? Do you still love, Angel?"  
  
Buffy has really been thinking of nothing else since she came back. She looks deep into Willow's eyes.  
  
"Willow, how could I still love him after what he did to Xander?"  
  
"Buffy, that was Angelus not."  
  
She interrupts the witch.  
  
"Willow, the fist time he changed was a mistake. Everyone including he and I knew it could happen again. I felt guilty that I was a part of that. But, this time I had nothing to do with it. And if I had done my job the first time there would not have been a second time. He is not going to harm Xander any further."  
  
"Wow, Buffy, that is major!"  
  
"Willow, I had Xander beside me once and if I can help it he's going to be there again. And this time I'm going to go with it. He is never going to doubt that I love him again. Or that I'm in love with him."  
  
But, then Buffy thinks of the realty of the situation. She wells up again.  
  
"Willow, do you think he'll ever."  
  
She can't continue. Willow tries to comfort her.  
  
"Buffy, I don't know why I wasn't going to tell you this but.he still loves you, Buffy. Believe me I know."  
  
"Thank you, Willow."  
  
The slayer feels a little better now. She looks at Willow.  
  
"Once you get Xander Lavelle Harris in your system it's pretty hard to let him go, isn't it?"  
  
The Witch just laughs. "Tell me about it!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander is particularly upset. First Buffy leaves. That was bad enough. But now she is back and it's worse. He is still going to get Angelus, no doubt about that. But, now he's going to have to deal with her on that. Well, bullshit to that! He went through that once. But, a part of him wants to know what Buffy was going to say to him the night she came back but he has to shake that off. He has to stay focused. He spots two Vamps up ahead about to pounce on a victim. He hurries to her aide.  
  
"Didn't you assholes hear the word, new slayer on the block."?  
  
He proceeds to stake one then punches the other viciously to the ground. He goes to the intended victim.  
  
"It's night time and you live in hell! Get your ass inside, now! I'll follow you home so nobody else gets you."  
  
The second Vamp starts to attack but Xander turns in time to bust his chops. He stakes him effortlessly. Another comes flying out of nowhere. He punches Xander.  
  
"You son of a bitch that hurt!"  
  
Xander kicks his feet from under him, knocking him to the ground. He holds a stake above the monsters chest then releases it. Right before it comes to the vamps chest he viciously stomps on the ass end of it with his foot. Bingo, instant dust!  
  
The last time Xander was here he felt Buffy following him. Now he can feel the presence of someone again. It's a heavy presence. At one point he just stops.  
  
"All right, what the fuck! Just come out and face me."  
  
Out of the shadows comes a figure Xander thought he would never see again. But it doesn't scare him at all.  
  
"Well I'll be damned. Look who it is.Faith! My life isn't messed up enough now you're back."  
  
She has to laugh. "Gees, Harris, I heard you were left with the slaying gig but I thought you would be glad to see a fellow slayer arrive."  
  
"Well, let's see. Last time I saw you .ah.that's right you tried to kill me."  
  
"Come on Harris, I was just playing with you."  
  
"Yea, okay, well, what the hell, you might just as well be here. What do you want, Faith?"  
  
Neither has time to talk any further. Three Vamps nail them. They dispose of them but more come. Faith notices how much better Xander has gotten in fighting.  
  
"Wow, Harris, you've improved. Maybe it wouldn't be so easy to kill you this time, ha, ha!"  
  
"Well, Faith, I guess in your pitiful way that's actually a compliment."  
  
The Vamps keep coming. Xander notices one thing. Faith has gotten out of practice in fighting the sheer number of night creatures that can come at you on any give night in Sunnydale. He looks at her.  
  
"Are you okay, Faith?"  
  
Faith doesn't answer. They are each jumped by two more. Xander is getting tired himself but notices Faith is really taking a beating. After he deals with his two he sees one Vamp about to stick a very large knife in her back. He runs to her as fast as he can.  
  
"Noooooooooo!"  
  
He smashes to the side of the vamp before it can stab Faith. He rolls it over, staking it. He jumps up to tangle with the other. It is a struggle but he defeats it. He comes back to where Faith is still laying. When he looks down at her he sees something he thought he would never see. Faith is lying in a fetal position sobbing to break her heart.  
  
Xander has no idea what to do. He bends down to her, touching her arm.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
The rogue slayer is very embarrassed to have anyone see her like this. She knocks his hand off her.  
  
"Get out of here, Harris!"  
  
"You can't stay here, Faith."  
  
Faith looks up at Xander for a minute then takes a wild swing at him. He easily grabs her hand. She struggles lightly to get free but then just sighs heavily."  
  
"Why didn't you just let him kill me, Xander?"  
  
Xander very slowly tries to embrace her. He is very surprised when she almost collapses in his arms. For a few moments he feels her body heaving up and down as she cries. For some reason this moment replaces the one of her trying to choke the life out of him. He always did have a soft spot for Faith. She never seemed to have a chance.  
  
"Faith, look I don't know your whole story but shit, we could still really use you. I'm no good at this. I'm just an amateur."  
  
Faith looks up at him in disbelief. "Look, Harris, I hate to burst your civilian bubble but the man I just saw fighting is no amateur. Sorry, champ. You saved my life.again."  
  
"How about we both get up, dust ourselves off and talk about it over some coffee?"  
  
They go to an all night restaurant. Faith is still amazed at Xander.  
  
"So you got this way all on your own?"  
  
"Somebody had to take up her slack, the great Buffy Anne Summers!"  
  
"You're pathetic, Harris."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You still love her don't you?"  
  
Xander gets very cold. He stares at her hard. "I'm going to kill, Angelus, I don't care who is in the way."  
  
"Okay, Harris, I get it. Do you want some help?"  
  
This gets Xander's attention. "You would help me get him?"  
  
Faith has one of her very few tender moments. "Harris, you saved my life twice now. And I tried to."  
  
Xander grabs her hand tenderly. "Faith, I don't know why but I could never stay mad at you."  
  
"My gain I guess."  
  
For a few moments they stare lovingly at each other. Faith grabs his hand.  
  
"Xander, lets go to my apartment."  
  
Xander has not had one tender moment with anyone since Anya was taken. He doesn't put up much of an argument.  
  
It's not exactly Romeo and Juliet but it is two tragic lives meeting at a moment of weakness for them both. Maybe they could be forgiven. 


	7. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 7\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY 7\?  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: THEY ALL BELONG TO JOSS WHEDON  
  
SUMMARY: NOTHING IS EASY ON A HELL MOUTH. NOW BUFFY LOVES XANDER BUT HE THINKS SHE WILL DEFEND ANGELUS. HE HAS RECRUITED FAITH AFTER HE SAVED HER LIFE AGAIN. THEY HAD A LITTLE ROLL IN THE HAY TOGETHER AND ARE LOOKING A WHOLE LOT LIKE A COUPLE. A COUPLE OF HARDENED DAEMON FIGHTERS.  
  
CHAPTER 7-CAN THINGS GET ANYMORE COMPLICATED?  
  
Xander doesn't bother telling anyone else that Faith is back. He really doesn't think it is anyone else's business. She is helping him train and getting back in shape herself. Buffy is really getting lonely for Xander. Willow is patrolling with her.  
  
"Buffy, I can't believe you're that lonely for him. I mean you guys have never even.you know.like."  
  
Buffy finishes it for her.  
  
"Never made love, never even kissed, never even actually had a date?"  
  
"I guess that about covers it. It's like you did all the deep, love stuff first without all the neat juicy stuff."  
  
"I know, Willow. How can I possibly feel this close to him when we never spent any romantic time together."  
  
"Well, Buffy, I can answer that one. You guys always had this certain thing together, well at least you did the first few years."  
  
"Until I blew it, right?"  
  
"Buffy, you were just caught up with being the all dark slayer."  
  
"I know Will.and I'm sorry."  
  
"I think Xander just figured he would help any way he could and he just put his love for you on hold."  
  
"I know, Willow. I just looked everywhere for my soul mate and my partner except right in front of me."  
  
Buffy stops. She looks at Willow. "Willow, I have to find him."  
  
The Witch smiles. "Okay, Buffy, I understand."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Xander and Faith are taking turns pummeling vamps. After each one they evaluate each other's performance.  
  
"That was great, Faith but when you punched him your whole left side was left open."  
  
He demonstrates by brushing his hand over the left side of her ribs. She shutters a bit.  
  
"Umm, a little ditty for later."  
  
"Harris, if you get to know any more of my weaknesses I may have to kill you."  
  
"You tried that once, remember, didn't work."  
  
"Xander, I'm."  
  
"Hey, I meant it as a joke."  
  
They embrace and begin to share a nice kiss. Just as they embrace Buffy starts to come into the cemetery. She recognizes Xander but doesn't see the other figure until she is close to them. When she sees it is Faith she shudders. She misunderstands the embrace. She rushes them knocking Faith off her newly discovered soul mate. Xander intervenes.  
  
"Stop, Buffy, it's not what you think."  
  
The slayer looks at him as Faith gets up.  
  
"What are you talking about, Xander, she was."  
  
She stops in mid-sentence as she realized what they were doing.  
  
"Xander, are you crazy. She tried to kill you."  
  
"I know she did, Buffy, but it's different now."  
  
Buffy can't believe it. "Xander, what the hell are you doing. This is Faith remember.as in evil Faith."  
  
Faith decides to get into it.  
  
"Look, "B", I know what happened in the past. But, I'm back to make up for that."  
  
"Does Giles know she's back, Xander? You're out of control aren't you, Xander? You were actually kissing her, weren't you?"  
  
"Buffy, who I kiss is my own business. And don't give me any shit about her being evil. You seem to have some experience in that department yourself, remember?"  
  
"Well, lets see if anybody else has any problems with it shall we?"  
  
She goes to walk away but Xander stops her.  
  
"We both know your anger has nothing to do with me kissing Faith. You think I'm going to get your boyfriend and you know what, you're right!"  
  
"Xander, you know what? You never could see what was right in front of you either. You're stupid, Xander, do you know it?"  
  
"And what the hell is that suppose to mean Buffy?"  
  
"It means you are so goddamed blinded by this anger and self-righteousness that you can't see three feet in front of you!"  
  
"Oh, wow, you sound like you're describing yourself slayer."  
  
"Yea, you're right, Xander, I was blind, very blind but now I see. And I'm not going to let you do this!"  
  
Xander thinks she means hunting Angelus. He looks at her roughly.  
  
"I will take you too if it's necessary, Buffy!"  
  
This really hurts the slayer. She starts to well up.  
  
"Xander, you are just stupid."  
  
He starts to look away.  
  
"Look at me, Xander, look into my eyes."  
  
Faith does not like this at all. She can see the way Buffy is looking at Xander. For the first time in her life she is very jealous. She knows Xander still loves Buffy. She moves to Xander, slipping her arm in his.  
  
"Maybe it's time for you to leave, "B"."  
  
Buffy switches into bitch mode. "You'll play this to the hilt won't you Faith?"  
  
"A girl has to seize every opportunity she has."  
  
"If you hurt him I'll complete the job I started before!"  
  
Xander has had enough of this discussion. "Buffy, just go and do whatever it is you're going to do, okay?"  
  
"Xander, I'm not leaving this time and maybe you'll open your eyes before its too late."  
  
When she leaves Faith stares at Xander. She just shakes her head. Anybody could see the passion and the tension and the.love between Xander and Buffy.  
  
"What, Faith?"  
  
"I should have known, Xander."  
  
"Should have known what?"  
  
She goes to him. "You honestly don't know what I'm talking about do you?"  
  
"Faith, I've had enough grief for the night. Can we just get some supper and head to your apartment?"  
  
She decides to forget it for now. "Okay, Xander." 


	8. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 8\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY? 8\?  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: THEY ALL BELONG TO JOSS WHEDON  
  
SUMMARY: FAITH IS BACK, THE GANG QUESTIONS XANDER. BUFFY IS OF COURSE LIVID. SHE AND XANDER HAVE SOME MORE PASSIONATE EXCHANGES. BUT THE PLOT THICKENS, ANGELUS IS NOT PLAYING GAMES.  
  
CHAPTER: 8- GEES, XANDER, WE ALL LIKE YOU BUT, GOD, ARE YOU DENSE!  
  
Buffy calls the gang together. She and Willow are there. Giles, Wesley, Cordelia and Tara are on the way.  
  
"Buffy, he was actually kissing her?"  
  
"Yes he was. He's so stupid. All I did was ignore him. She tried to kill him. And you should have seen how she looked at me, Willow. She slid her arm in his as if to say; sorry, my property!"  
  
"But, Buffy, one thing she must have noticed. She must have seen the way you two guys go at it with each other. That really must have spooked her?"  
  
"Yea, except she knows he's mister dense where stuff like that is concerned. It was bad enough without her coming back!"  
  
When Giles comes in Buffy immediately goes to him. "Did you tell Xander to come?"  
  
"Yes I did, Buffy, and he told me that Faith is not here to start trouble."  
  
"What? They were kissing, Giles. She has him practically living in her apartment."  
  
Everybody looks at her very peculiarly. Cordelia is mad.  
  
"He's sleeping with that bitch?"  
  
Now its Cordelia's turn to have everyone stare at her.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't be surprised if she and Angelus were in bed together."  
  
Xander walks in. All eyes are on him. Buffy immediately addresses him.  
  
"Okay, Xander, now what the hell is going on?"  
  
"I ran into Faith. She has been helping me patrol. End of the story."  
  
"Come on, Xander, we all know the rest."  
  
"The rest is nobody's business but mine, Buffy. And what the hell are you so upset for anyway. Faith isn't wanted anymore is she?"  
  
Giles answers.  
  
"No she's not Xander but, are you very sure of Faith's motivation?"  
  
"Giles, unlike some of us here I take my job very seriously."  
  
That really hurt Buffy. Willow looks at her and then at Xander.  
  
"That is really low, Xander, and in case you don't remember my stupid brother, she saved the world."  
  
Xander looks at the slayer. And for the first time since she's been back his anger has lessened. He can see that his comment hurt her. He goes to her.  
  
"Buffy, could I see you in the other room?"  
  
"Why, Xander?"  
  
"Please?"  
  
She goes in with him. She still has tears in her eyes. He grabs her hand very gently.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
This is the first time since she has been back that Xander has not been mean and angry in her presence. She just looks at him, unsure of what to say. He starts to walk back to the meeting. Buffy is sort of shocked. She thought this was the chance for her to really talk to him.  
  
"That's it, Xander?"  
  
"Well, Buff, we both know the rest. You have to do what you have to do and I have to do what I have to do."  
  
The slayer sees red now.  
  
"Oh, and that is it, Xander? That's all we have to say to each other? After all we've both been through together and all the grief you've had. All the pain you went through when you thought I was gone forever.you don't want to talk about any of that?"  
  
Xander is still blinded by his desire for vengeance. He is viewing everything from that perspective.  
  
"Oh, no slayer.nice try!"  
  
He goes to walk out but Buffy grabs his arm.  
  
"Nice try at what, Xander?"  
  
"All this.lovey dovey stuff, like you really care about me. I'm going after Angelus whether you like it or not!"  
  
"Xander, stop being so damned blind. And now you're actually sleeping with Faith? Do you know she would sell you down the river for the first good offer?"  
  
"Oh, what's this Buffy, a little slayer envy?"  
  
She tries one more time. She goes up to him very lovingly.  
  
"Xander, what do I have to do, throw myself in front of you?"  
  
He just refuses to see past his nose.  
  
"Faith is there and she's not going to leave me. And she's going to help me get him. Right now that means she's my partner."  
  
Buffy is very angry now. "Xander, you're stupid.and you're blind and.and.I'm not going away Xander. I'm not leaving your life this time. You're going to have to deal with me!"  
  
Buffy storms away. Xander is confused. It almost seemed that she was.He doesn't finish the thought.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Faith walks the cemetery alone. She has a major problem. She has gotten much to close to Xander. He has given her something she has never had before, friendship and loyalty. She could get very use to that. But, it was not suppose to happen. A figure emerges from the shadows as she passes. It comes into the light when it sees her.  
  
"Why so glum, Faith? Let me guess. The little boy has gotten to you?"  
  
"Well, lets cut the shit, Angelus, you're afraid of him or else you wouldn't ask me to set him up for you."  
  
"Faith, Faith.you just don't get the art of terror. You are actually doing a good job. He trusts you. Even more than he trusts her."  
  
Faith looks away. Angelus goes to her.  
  
"Let's go over the stats once more for good measure slayer. Do you want Buffy or don't you?"  
  
"Well, I thought I did."  
  
"I don't believe it. That kid actually got to you, didn't he?"  
  
"So what if he did?"  
  
"Well, actually, I don't care if he did or not. You just deliver him here tomorrow night."  
  
"And how are you going to set the slayer up?"  
  
"We're going to wear her down. The actually killing is up to you."  
  
As the last part of this conversation is taking place Buffy witnesses it. Faith takes off but she catches Angelus. He looks at her.  
  
"Well, I'll be. Look who the hell the wind drug in."  
  
"You got something going with her, Angelus?"  
  
"Are you jealous, Buffy?"  
  
"You made a mistake this time. You terrorized the wrong person!"  
  
"Oh, so I heard. You're actually in love with the boy aren't you?"  
  
"Yea, and it time for you to join the dirt you came from!"  
  
Just as she is about to launch an attack against Angelus she hears a rumbling behind her. It is Xander running full speed ahead. As she turns to see him Angelus makes a fast getaway.  
  
Xander frantically searches the surrounding area for him. Then he runs back to Buffy. He is in tears.  
  
"You bitch!"  
  
"Xander calm down."  
  
"What were you doing, warning him?"  
  
She goes to him but he pushes her away.  
  
"Xander, stop it, we were about to fight, he heard you and took off! But, Xander, Faith.they were talking about."  
  
He interrupts her.  
  
"You know what he did Buffy and yet you have the guts to stand there and talk to him. I don't care if Angel is in there. I don't give a shit!"  
  
"Xander, I have to tell you about Faith."  
  
"I don't want to hear anything about Faith. I'm going after him and that's it!"  
  
With that Xander storms away.  
  
Buffy didn't hear the exact plan but she has to tell everyone else. They have to find Faith and catch up to Xander. She is not going to allow anything to happen to the man she now knows is her soul mate and destined lover. 


	9. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 9\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY 9\10  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: THEY ALL BELONG TO JOSS WHEDON  
  
SUMMARY: FAITH MADE A DEAL WITH ANGELUS TO GET BUFFY BUT COMPLICATIONS HAVE SET IN. SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH XANDER. BUFFY FOUND ANGELUS AND FAITH TALKING OVER THE PLAN BUT XANDER WOULDN'T LISTEN TO HER. BUFFY IS DETERMINED TO SAVE THE MAN SHE LOVES EVEN IF SHE HAS TO KILL EVERYONE TO DO IT.  
  
E-MAIL: amulet@my-dejanews.com  
  
  
  
CHAPTER: 9-I REALLY DO LOVE HIM AND NOBODY IS GOING TO MESS WITH HIM.  
  
Buffy is frantic now. Xander is too blinded to listen to her. She has to get to the rest of the gang. She finds them at the magic shop.  
  
"Giles, Faith and Angelus are in on some kind of plan together. We have to find her and Xander."  
  
Willow speaks up. "Didn't you see him, Buffy?"  
  
"I did but it was bad. I was about to attack Angelus when he came into the cemetery. He thought I let him get away. He wouldn't even listen about Faith."  
  
Giles speaks up. "You saw Angelus, Buffy?"  
  
"Yes, Giles, but he doesn't want me anymore he wants Xander."  
  
Willow speaks up. "Well, I think he still wants you, Buffy, but he thinks getting Xander is the worst thing he can do to you right now."  
  
Giles doesn't understand. "I don't understand?"  
  
"Giles, Buffy is sort of .you know.in love with Xander."  
  
"Buffy, is this true?"  
  
Buffy is very anxious. "We need to get to him Giles. I cannot lose him!"  
  
"Yes, Buffy, okay. But, I feel you should know something about Xander now. He has changed, Buffy, he."  
  
"Giles, please don't try to tell me anything about Xander. The plan is; we find Xander, you help hold off Faith while I take care of Angelus."  
  
"Buffy, do you think it wise for you to tangle with Angelus? With the whole Angel."  
  
"Giles, Angelus has done enough and now he is after the man I love. Giles, Xander is not like anyone else I have ever loved, even Angel. He has always been my soul mate, always been there for me. He knows me and what I need. I don't want to kill Angel but I have no choice."  
  
Giles is dumbfounded. He had no idea that Xander meant that much to Buffy. But with her gone the watcher did learn to love the boy as his son. And he learned to have a great amount of respect for him as well. He would welcome a Buffy\Xander pairing.  
  
"Buffy, we'll take the walkie-talkies, split into teams."  
  
Night passes into day with no luck. Everyone has to get some sleep. Buffy stays with Willow. The slayer is very upset.  
  
"Will, do you think we'll find them in time?"  
  
"Buffy, I don't know why we didn't find them already. But, they have to show up. Didn't you say whatever was the plan it was do for tonight?"  
  
"I don't know, Will, I didn't hear it that clearly but I thought that was it."  
  
"So then we still have time Buffy."  
  
She tears up. "Willow, I have never felt this way about anyone before. He has been in my heart from the beginning, he was always there. I have such deep intense feelings for him. I know that seems impossible but."  
  
"Buffy, you and Xander have always been a part of each other. You have been through heaven and hell together. You have saved his life, he has saved yours. It all adds up Buffy."  
  
"Willow, you want to know something? I never let myself think about this too much but do you remember when Xander paid Amy to do that spell so Cordelia would love him?"  
  
"Yea, and it backfired. All the other women in Sunnydale wanted him."  
  
"Well, I was in the library when it first happened. I got very close to Xander. I almost brushed his lips with mine. Willow, I'll never forget that. I thought maybe it was the spell but just being that close to him.I can't explain it. And now whenever I'm near him I get the same feeling. He held my hand at the magic shop.Willow it was very intense."  
  
The two girls don't say anything for a few minutes. Then Buffy breaks down.  
  
"Willow, I cannot lose him. I've got to save him."  
  
"We will Buffy, we will."  
  
Buffy forces herself to get some sleep. She has a dream. In it Xander is calling to her. For some reason he is helpless. Buffy wakes with a jump. She has to find Xander. She heads out to the cemetery as dusk approaches. When she gets to the middle three beefy vamps immediately accost her. As soon as she disposes of those three more take their place. Even with slayer strength and energy six vamps is a lot. When three more surround her she begins to feel the strain.  
  
Xander is still hunting for Angelus. He enters the cemetery. Before he gets very far he senses the presence of great evil. He slowly walks toward it. In the distance a lone figure emerges. As Xander gets closer he can see that his hunt is over. It is Angelus.  
  
"So, you finally decided to come out of the shadows and face me, you blood- sucking bastard?"  
  
"Xander, Xander, don't tell me you actually think I'm afraid of you?"  
  
"Guess what, asshole, I don't really give a shit!"  
  
As he approaches the Vampire Xander takes a solid hit to the jaw. He shakes his head clear then goes right back at him. Angelus tries a straight kick but Xander dodges it and slams him to the groin. He follows with a roundhouse kick to the vampire's jaw. The bastard hits the ground rolling. He jumps up dodging another kick. He backs the boy up with a straight hand to his jaw.  
  
Angelus had no idea Xander was this tough.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Faith watches Buffy holding off yet three more vamps. The blonde slayer is wearing down. This is Faith's perfect chance to even the score with her, pay her back for almost killing her. But, one thing keeps pulling at her heart. This is the soul mate of the man she now loves. And even though she knows she will probably lose him to her she can't do it. Xander has just gotten to her too much. She curses him.  
  
"God damn you, Xander!"  
  
Faith runs out to Buffy. She starts to take the heat off her. Once she gets beside her she calls to the blonde slayer.  
  
"Buffy, find Xander quick, Angelus has a big surprise for him."  
  
Buffy realizes that Faith is helping her. She looks at her before she takes off.  
  
"I don't get it Faith, why?"  
  
"Xander's a hell of a guy "B"!"  
  
"I know!" Buffy takes off  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Every time Angelus hits Xander he gets it back twofold. His face is bloody and Xander has broken his nose. After another shot to the groin Xander has the super Vamp in a whole lot of trouble.  
  
"This time it's over Angelus, you're fucking reign of terror is over!"  
  
Angelus staggers to his feet and begins to laugh.  
  
Xander just shakes his head. "Don't matter to me, asshole, you can laugh at your own death."  
  
Xander slides a stake down from his sleeve. He is going to finish this as quickly as possible. Although bleeding from wounds all over his body Xander is almost at full strength. The adrenalin is pumping him up. He knows now he can beat this bastard and he isn't going to prolong it.  
  
"Xander"  
  
Xander freezes in his path as he hears a voice calling him. He turns around and is frozen in terror. Angelus is still laughing.  
  
"An.Anya?"  
  
"Yes, Xander, its me and see, I'm still pregnant. It's still your baby."  
  
Xander almost collapses. It can't be Anya but it is.and she is still pregnant."  
  
"Come to me Xander, we can still be together and raise our child."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy can feel the evil and she thinks of her dream. She has to find Xander. She sees him ahead. She can also see Angelus laughing hysterically. She charges right for the Vampire, knocking him on his ass..  
  
"Oh, Buffy, you're in time for the show, take a seat."  
  
The slayer can't worry about Angelus now she turns her attention to Xander. She almost vomits when she sees who is talking to him. Angelus obviously turned Anya but it doesn't look as if Xander has figured that out yet. The slayer yells at the boy.  
  
"Don't go near her, Xander!"  
  
"It's Anya, Buffy."  
  
"No its not, Xander, and you know it!"  
  
"She's just jealous, Xander. This is your baby, Xander."  
  
Buffy runs to Xander. "Xander, don't be stupid, you know this isn't Anya!"  
  
Xander pushes her away. "Shut up, Buffy. Isn't it time for you to leave again?"  
  
Buffy has to do something. She knocks Xander out of the path then confronts the turned daemon.  
  
"Tell him you're a vampire, Anya!"  
  
The daemon turns to Xander.  
  
"Xander, save me, she is going to harm our baby."  
  
Buffy sees no other option. She cannot wait for Xander to come back and maybe stop her. She grabs the former Anya and with one swift swing plunges a stake into her. Xander cries out in the night.  
  
"No!!!!" He is crying and shaking. He jumps on Buffy.  
  
In the mean time Giles and the rest have found Faith and they see Xander tackle Buffy.  
  
Faith and Giles try to pull him off her.  
  
"Giles, she killed Anya. She stopped me from killing Angelus!"  
  
Xander is almost delirious from his wounds and seeing Anya. When Faith suckers him he passes out in Giles's arms. The watcher then takes him to the hospital. Buffy is sobbing on the ground. There was no other way but she knows Xander will hate her now. Willow goes to her.  
  
"I.I had to do Willow."  
  
"Buffy, you had to do what?"  
  
"Willow.it was.it was Anya. Angelus must have changed her. She was.still.pregnant. I had to do it, Willow, I had to do it."  
  
"Oh my God, Buffy, I'm so sorry."  
  
Willow allows the slayer to sob in her arms. Tara joins her.  
  
In the shadows a very familiar figure basks in the mayhem. He says to himself.  
  
"I still haven't lost it!"  
  
He disappears into the night from which he came. 


	10. WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME BUFFY 10\10

TITLE: WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BUFFY? 10\10  
  
AUTHOR: RICK  
  
DISCLAIMER: JOSS WHEDON CAN HAVE THE CHARACTERS BACK IF HE PROMISES TO DO RIGHT BY THEM.  
  
SUMMARY: BUFFY HAD TO STAKE A VAMPED OUT ANYA. IF FAITH HADN'T KNOCKED OUT XANDER HE MIGHT HAVE TRIED TO HURT HER ARE THEY GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET TOGETHER? Angelus ESCAPED TO STAR IN A POSSIBLE SEQUEL  
  
  
  
CHAPTER: 10-STAND UP TO HIM, BUFFY  
  
The blonde slayer is lost, big time. She can't help it that she fell in love with Xander. The only surprise there was that it didn't happen sooner. And now she has rethought her entire slayer life in light of this love. Xander is amazing. Nothing major has happened in her life without him being a part of it. And when she thinks about it she had plenty of signs of her love for him early on. But, something or somebody was always blocking the view.  
  
But, what difference does all of that make now? Instead of being able to carry out her big plan to kill Angelus she had to kill Anya instead. And, right in front of Xander, too! She was going to show him that she could never love the beast that had done such terrible things to him. Instead that beast is still loose and the man she loves will never want to look at her again. It doesn't matter whether she loves Angel \ Angelus or doesn't love him. He still is a plague on her. But, she is still determined he will die for what he did to Xander, whether they ever get together or not.  
  
Xander was in the hospital for two days recovering from his wounds. Buffy asked to visit him but he refused her. When he got out he stayed with Faith but the brunette slayer is not happy with his presence.  
  
"Look, Xander, I can't take this."  
  
"You can't take what, Faith?"  
  
"Come on, Xander, you know what I'm talking about. Go talk to Buffy!"  
  
"Buffy, I never brought up Buffy."  
  
"Only at night when you say her name all the time. And then during the day when you're obsessed with her. Xander, I'm taking a stand right now. Get out of here!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm kicking you out of here. Go to the park, wait there!"  
  
Xander doesn't know what's happening but the next thing he knows he is out the door. Faith calls Buffy.  
  
"Go to the park right now, B, someone is waiting for you there."  
  
"Who Faith?"  
  
"Somebody you really want to see."  
  
"Is it Xander, Faith, are you sure he really wants to see me?"  
  
"Look, Buffy, I've had enough of him. Just go there and work this out. Have a fight. Do something but solve this thing between you. Don't let him tell you he doesn't love you, stand up to him!"  
  
Faith hangs up. Buffy changes her mind twice but finds herself on the way to the park. When she gets there she sees Xander sitting on a bench. She reluctantly approaches him.  
  
"Xander?"  
  
When he sees her he closes his eyes She sits down beside him.  
  
"What do you want, Buffy?"  
  
"First of all, Xander, will you open up your eyes and look at me?"  
  
He does.  
  
"I don't know where to start, Xander."  
  
"There is no starting point or ending point for us."  
  
"Why isn't there, Xander?"  
  
"Do you really want to know, Buffy?"  
  
"Yea, why don't you tell me, Xander? Why don't you tell me why you don't understand why I had to do what I did?"  
  
"Oh, you had to do it, huh? And what part are you talking about here? That you had to leave me...twice or that you had to kill Anya and my child?"  
  
Buffy starts to cry. "That is so unfair, Xander."  
  
Xander pushes his emotional advantage. "That is unfair? Do you know how much I... loved you, how much I cared for you, stood beside you? You didn't say a word to me either time, not a word! Like, well I don't know or care what Xander thinks about it. I just have to do it!"  
  
"Xander, I know...I know. But, that was before...before I ..."  
  
Xander interrupt her. "It doesn't matter now, Buffy, I'm past it."  
  
Buffy is angry now. She remembers what Faith told her about Xander still loving her.  
  
"Bullshit, Xander, you're not passed anything. You're just as lost as I am about us."  
  
"You're lost? What the hell did you lose, Buffy?"  
  
"Xander, if you weren't so damned dense you'd know. Xander, I love you. Didn't you figure that out yet?"  
  
Xander is spellbound for a minute. He has to get up. He walks over to a tree Buffy follows.  
  
"For how long, Buffy?"  
  
"Since I saw the way you looked at me when I had to close the vortex."  
  
Xander shakes his head. Buffy addresses him. "Now, do you see what I'm talking about, Xander, we're both lost."  
  
She continues. "Xander, I know I ignored you and took you for granted and never asked you about my most important decisions. And I also know I left you Xander without ever thinking about how it affected you."  
  
Buffy is trying to talk in between sobs now. "Xander...I had...I had to stake...It wasn't Anya, Xander..."  
  
Xander cannot stand to see Buffy this sad. Despite his anger he has to comfort her. He takes her in his arms.  
  
"I know, Buffy, I know you did, honey. I'm sorry for lashing out at you, I just didn't know what to do."  
  
They cry in each other's arms. Finally Buffy has to know.  
  
"Xander...Xander, I love you with all my heart and soul. Do you...do you still love me, Xander?"  
  
Xander has to get up. He composes himself then kneels down in front of the slayer.  
  
"Buffy...I have always loved you. I fell in love with you a long time ago and I never stopped. No matter what I did or, who I was with, it was always the same thing. And everybody knew it too."  
  
"Xander, do you think we could...I mean do you think we could give it a try? You know...me and you?"  
  
Xander turns away. There is still one matter between them.  
  
"What's the matter, Xander?"  
  
"Buffy I still...I have to go after Angelus."  
  
"Xander, if you were only paying attention you would know that I decided to go after him too."  
  
"But, Buffy, what about Angel?"  
  
Buffy shakes her head. "Xander, do you think I could love him or even stand to be with him after what he did to you? Xander, you're the man I love."  
  
Buffy decides to try to lighten things up just a little.  
  
"Xander, is there anything else you want to bring up before we actually kiss for the very first time?"  
  
He cozies up to her on the bench. "Nothing I can think of."  
  
They lay into each other. At first Buffy gets all of him. She has been gazing into his face for so long now wanting to do just this. But then Xander has to get way into it. This is the woman he has wanted from his first breath. Gees, who wants who the most? We're not going to be able to judge it since they are headed behind close doors just as quickly as they can. They have a very private matter to pursue.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A short three months later...  
  
One thing Xander hated was UN finished business. He had his dream now, his heaven on earth, his Buffy. The blue-eyed beauty kept him happy and smiling. She was everything he thought she would be and more. Her vulnerability took his breath away. She was by far the strongest person he had ever met yet she never hid the fact she needed Xander. Sometimes she would wake at night unsure of herself or depressed. As soon as she saw Xander she would fall into his arms for comfort. And he could give it to her also. He is the only one who ever got to see that side of her, the little girl, the young woman in dire need of loving and understanding. Buffy has a burden on her shoulders that no one else shares. Sometimes at night Xander held her for long hours without moving while she slept despite his body practically going numb. She needed that and he was going to provide it for her. At times she would also need rocking to sleep. Her destiny scared her, gave her nightmares. Xander was always there for her, always without fail. His diligence was rewarded every time she gave him that special look with her eyes or, every time she made sure no other woman got too close to him. Buffy was a perfect combination of strength and weakness in a person. Xander needed her and she needed him. They were indeed a perfect match.  
  
But, one thing still went through Xander's mind on occasion, the whole Angel business. Buffy was fully prepared to eliminate Angelus at this point but Xander knew that would not give her closure with the whole Angel business. She still blamed herself for his condition although she had nothing to do with it this time. She still sometimes wondered what the future might have been with the brooding one. Well, Xander had a plan to get rid of Angelus and get Angel back at the same time. He knew it was a little risky since Buffy truly did love Angel or at least had very strong feelings for him.  
  
The Vampire has never ran this fast. The bastard was never pursued like this before. It is new for him. Every time he tried to feed, every time he tried to relax, there was no rest. He kept seeing his hunters in the shadows. Every time he heard a noise he readied himself for the run. On this night he was especially paranoid. He had a feeling something was in the air. He looked all around as he made his way through the cemetery. He knew the slayer was with Giles but he didn't know where the other maniac, Xander, was. He soon found out. The boy comes crashing down from above him, landing to the vampire's back with both feet. Angelus slams to the ground.  
  
"Surprise, asshole!"  
  
Xander pulls out a needle full of holy water and plunges it into his back. As the vampire screams in pain, Xander kicks him then pounds his head with a rock One more vial of holy water into the veins has the bastard immobilized. Willow and Tara come out of hiding and begin to chant something as Xander chains him securely to a tree. Xander looks to the third woman who came with them. Her name is Linda and she is a sorceress by trade.  
  
"How long will it take, Linda?"  
  
"It should happen right after they are finished and then we'll burn the parchment. An easy forgetting spell should remove the knowledge of it from my head."  
  
"And he won't go bonkers if he gets a happy?"  
  
"This is an asexual spell. Sex plays no part in it."  
  
"Thank you Linda."  
  
Willow and Tara read the soul restoration spell and it knocks Angelus \ Angel unconscious. They drag him to a car, take him to an apartment in town and tie him securely to the bed. Then Xander and Willow pay Buffy a visit. She greets him warmly. He has a few bloodstains on him.  
  
"You okay, sweetie, a rough night?"  
  
"Actually, it wasn't that bad. But, you need to go with Willow."  
  
"What's the matter, honey, you're all nervous and shaky."  
  
He smiles. "I'm fine, Buffy, really. But you'll understand when you go with Willow."  
  
Buffy does as her soul mate asks. When she leaves Giles looks at Xander.  
  
"You actually caught him, Xander?"  
  
"Yes and as far as I know the spell worked."  
  
"Good job, Xander, and I do know it was very hard for you to do."  
  
"Giles, I don't want anything standing in the way of Buffy and I."  
  
"Xander, even I can tell that Buffy loves you. She has never been this happy with anyone."  
  
"I know, Giles. This is actually more for her than me. She needs the closure."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Willow stinks at keeping secrets from Buffy, especially one this major. The slayer is staring a hole in her.  
  
"Willow, how long have we been best friends?"  
  
"Buffy, don't ask me that or, look at me like that."  
  
"Willow, I would tell you."  
  
The Witch can't hold it in any longer, she just blurt it out.  
  
"Xander waited up in a tree for Angelus then he jumped on him, immobilized him, we read a soul restoration spell in front of him that we got from Xander's friend, one that won't be affected by him having sex and now we have him tied to a bed in a down town apartment. We are going to see if the spell worked, phew!"  
  
Buffy's eyes bulge open. She doesn't say anything at first. Then she looks at Willow.  
  
"You know, Xander is amazing. As happy as we are together he knew there was just a little part of me that needed to bring Angel back. Not for me to love but for me to say good-bye. He knew that I needed that. Willow, I love him with everything inside me."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Later, Buffy joins Xander at his apartment. She sits down beside him on the sofa.  
  
"Xander, I'll never be able to tell you how much I love you, never."  
  
The boy just sighs. "You do a very good job now, honey."  
  
After a few minutes of silence.  
  
"I said goodbye to him, Xander."  
  
"Was it hard, sweetie?"  
  
"Actually, no. And he didn't protest or anything."  
  
Xander grabs Buffy's hands. "He's a good man, Buffy."  
  
"And you won't resent not killing Angelus."  
  
"We did kill Angelus, Buffy."  
  
"Xander, you are the best man I ever met."  
  
They go into the bedroom and close the door. But, they will open it again and, come out together. Now that they have found each other they will never part again.  
  
Rick Sieber 


End file.
